old friend.

yesterday i met an old friend. several things went wrong during our friendship and we both made some wrong decisions. he was ashamed of his behaviour and i was too proud to admit anything. things just went wrong. so we did not have any contact for a long time. but yesterday showed me that sometimes you ruin everything by not taking a chance. by being too proud, by being afraid of the reactions, by simply doing nothing and hoping the other person will do everything. thats not how it works, apparantly. sometimes we realize these things when the other person is not there anymore and we start to miss them, sometimes we see this when we meet the other person again after a long time and see why we were so close and sometimes we don't see a difference at all, which shows there was never really a connection of some sort. i feel kind of relieved now. but still this confrontation and these apologies mixed up my feelings. i feel unsure. and i think he is, too.

xoxo.